Films I Have Written About to Date

This used to be a page on my blog. I may separate it out into individual posts if I get really bored some time.

A list of films i’ve watched starting …NOW, for posterity:

Predators (2010, Predator 3) – good. a lotta hints in honour of predator 1 (1987?).
Silent Running (1971) low budget, early 70s scifi with an environmental twist -pretty dodgy plot, but nice. Reeks of things to come with lucas / star wars, and battlestar, etc. in terms of low budget space effects.
Thing To Come (1936 Colourized) scifi-futurology, some accurate predictitions (WWII, giant planes, astronaut lookin costumes) pretty cool.
Explorers (1985?) – family scifi with debut performances by ethan hawke n river phoenix. homely goodness.
Outland (1981) – scifi western with sean connery. lacking in plot depth as a scifi, but a good western -the new sheriff sorts out corruption in de (space) mining town.
Starship Troopers 3 (2008) Directorial debut from Ed Neumeier -he wrote all the Robocops+spin-off movies and tv shows, and all the Starship Troopers. Great cheesey movie much the same feel as the first troopers film. Pokes fun at military dictatorships and moves on to make a mockery of religious ppl and religion. Actually kind of a political satire. Good clean fun. Has Rico the star from first film in it (Casper Van Dien), and also the bird who plays vulcan T’Pol in Enterprise -ah yea, jolene blalock.
Run! Bitch Run! (2009) Absolute diabolical bullshit, a z-movie. Only the violence, gore, sex, rape, and torture kept me watching. Pure exploitation, seem to be a lot of these coming out of america.
Robo-Geisha (2009) Gory Japanese comedy. It’s about, well, a cyborg hitwoman who disguises herself as a geisha. There’s a great godzilla-style giant robot monster at the end. Humourous B-movie.

uh, yeh, i like rom-coms now

Haven’t updated this in nearly a year, and the previous entries were actually only a couple o days viewing, so suffice is to say I won’t be trying to update the in-between!

Tron Legacy (2010) Awesome visually. Can see why ppl didn’t like this; if they didn’t watch/like the original movie, why would they like an updated version of it? Pretty stupid to try and mass-market a cult movie, but i’m really glad they spent all that money on it ;-) Very pretty.
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) A remake apparently?! I thought this was a grindhouse movie at first, it stars Rutger Hauer and some other oulfellas with some newcomers, and the same style and mixture of comedy, splatter, and cheese. Sounds delicious right? It is! Very 80s feel to it, and some great inappropriate hobo lines from Rutger. Rutger is about to be beheaded and is being grabbed roughly, to which he exclaims “Get ur hands off me, ur squashing my cigarettes!” Great fun.
Memories of Murder aka Salinui Chueok (2003) I hadn’t seen a decent Korean movie in a whiles. This is not the usual insane/surreal affair that I associate with “decent” Korean films (Old Boy, Save the Green Planet, The Good the Bad and the Weird, The Host), it’s quite a serious movie, not as in without laughs, but there is none of the frivolousness of subject matter that i’m used to seeing. The other Korean movies I’ve been watching have been very much the usual formulaic bollox we love to stuff down our throats, rom-coms, blockbusters, teen movies (haha oh yeah must write up Sex is Zero), etc. I seem to have gone on a bit of a rant here, what i meant to say was: great crime mystery film.
Sex is Zero (2002) Korean American Pie. Sex is Zero is to American Pie as Dirty Sanchez is to Jackass. Think American Pie only more disgusting and you know what to expect. Disgusting puberty humour.
Joint Security Area (2000) Park Chan-wook. A commentary on north-south korean relations. Not the usual ultra-violence from Park, a good, serious film.
Audition (1999) If Takashi Miike is the japanese David Lynch, then this is like early lynch because the film makes sense and has a plot. The usual rubber model gore from takashi. Good.
Limitless (2011) Some nice drug-induced visuals in this film. An exploration of a fictional drug that ultra-accelerates your mental capacity. Simple premise, excellent execution.
Edward Penishands (1991) I can’t believe i’m reviewing a porno here. This VHS quality film comprises of about five sex scenes (all standard, straight forward affairs), which are connected by a number of short scenes that recreate moments from the original film, e.g. the classic
Heroine: “Hold me…”
Edward: “..I can’t,” <holds up penis hands> “..I’ll squirt.”
I fast forwarded through most of the sex scenes, as I had already cum after reading the title, but the main actor was making some great Edward faces throughout the dildo fuelled action. Hilarious tribute to a classic.
NEDS (2010) Gang culture in 1970s Glasgow, described by the director and writer as “personal but not autobiographical” this movie is violently sentimental. No wait, sentimentally violent. Violent yet sentimental. Whatever, it’s a good yarn. Caveat: if you have trouble with scottish accents make sure you have subtitles! I’m pretty good with understanding scottish accents, but even i had trouble with many lines in this film. D’ya ken?!
Tokyo Gore Police (2008) Straight to DVD nonsense. It’s a gore film, but the special effects make Power Rangers look like Avatar. Don’t know why this got some good reviews. Tokyo Gay Police.
White Lightnin’ (2009). Excellent! Based on the life of Jesco White a drug fuelled, southern US, mountain hick, yeehawing, shuffling dancer type. Watch this film.
Gremlins (1984). Reliving my childhood here. If the music was a little darker and the gremlins didn’t move like muppets I would be describing this has a childern’s horror/gore movie. Classic Steven Spielberg mulch.
The Lives of Others (2006). Great story, great characters/acting. I felt like I’d gotten a brief look at what it was really like to live behind the iron curtain in 80s east Berlin -did I mention that’s what it was about? A good ould yarn.
Carnage (2011). If your in the mood for the theatre this is a great movie. Some good acting from four good actors (JodieFoster KateWinslet ChristophWaltz JohnCReilly with Polanski at the helm). Based on a french play pretty over-dramatic but entertaining. Like I said, it’s like watching a good play.

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